Zaru Soba in the Afternoon

How to Make Zaru Soba

  • 2 handfuls of soba noodles
  • 1 bottle of tsuyu (sauce)
  • 1 fresh bunch of naga negi (scallions)
  • small amount of wasabi (how hot do you want it?)
  • kizami nori (seaweed flake)
  • goma (sesame seeds)
  • tororo (yam for male strength)

He fills the iron pot with water and sets it upon the stove. All the ingredients are placed upon the counter: two handfuls of soba noodles, a fresh bunch of naga negi, the little green squeeze bottle of wasabi, container of kizami nori. He pulls out the phallic tororo from the refrigerator.

"Tororo, or yam, is good for building male strength," he says with a sideways glance, grating the yam.

My belly flutters, mouth parts slightly.

Kitchen. The water in the pot begins to boil and rattles upon the stove. I caress the bowl of peaches on the counter. I pick out a peach, and bite into it. A ripe white peach.

"Dripping with juice?" he asks.

With strong hands he grabs my wrists and guides me into an embrace. We kiss, leaning against the kitchen counter.

The water is boiling, rolling, like thunder. The sky is bright outside; sunny summer weather. Inside this kitchen, there is a sudden storm.

What kind of image is there when we watch the soba boil in the water? Chemical reactions at the atomic level: like our blood stirring, the noodles in the water swirling, white bubbles, milky, overflowing from the pot. Noodles like my tangled hair, spilling all over the pillow, a tangled net of seaweed. The scent of his body, green tea, earthy mushrooms, scallions on his hands. While he prepares lunch, he talks about lovemaking.

"Your peach tasted sweet last night, ripe, hot and warm," he says, watching the pot boil. He plunges his hands deftly into two oven mitts, and grabs the pot. Quickly, he takes the pot of noodles off the burner and pours it into the sieve, or "zaru".

Directions: Strain the noodles from the pot. Rinse them with cool water. Prepare two plates with bamboo mats (sudare) topped with ice cubes. Place the noodles artfully upon the pile of ice. Apply a pinch of kizami nori upon the noodles. Fill two small bowls (chawan) with the tsuyu (sauce). Carefully chopped naga negi can go into the bowl of sauce, along with a dab of wasabi, to your liking. Also you may add 'tororo' into the sauce (grated tororo, of course, good for multiple orgasms and lovemaking endurance) and sprinkle a little bit of goma (sesame seeds) on for flavor and visual delight.

How to eat: Sit together and look into each other's eyes with longing. Place the two plates of noodles close to each other. When you eat with the ohashi (chopsticks), careful--- you may drip the sauce all down your chin, upon your clothes. To be sure, take off your clothes, and eat zaru soba naked. Enjoy the drips of cold sauce upon your body and have your lover taste it off.